With many new parents of Middle Schoolers starting this month, we thought you might enjoy this!  We have two Middle Schoolers ourselves, so we know it can be tough!

Know and obey your school's rules! Just like in elementary school, there are rules and guidelines that you have to follow. Some of these may be the same, such as raising your hand in class. Some may be different, such as dealing with hall passes.

• Ask questions. Teachers and staff want to be sure you know what to do. If you're not sure, just ask.
• If your school has a student handbook, look it over. While it may not cover everything, it will make clear rules, policies, and expectations.
• Act maturely. While staff will not demand perfection, your behavior will likely be held to a higher standard than in elementary school.

Avoid drama and gossip. Naturally, people talk about other people's problems, behavior, and lives. While being informed of the social goings-on at school is healthy, unfortunately sometimes there maybe lots of gossip and some really malicious rumors floating around.

• Try to ignore rumors, even when they’re about you, and if anyone talks or asks you about a rumor, tell them to ignore it and not spread it around.
• Never start rumors; they only break friendships, create enemies, hurt feelings, and make things worse for everyone. If you have an issue with someone, talk to them directly.
• Be an upstander. If someone is talking nastily about someone, feel free to react back with kindness.
  • For instance, if there is gossip about a breakup between two people, you can react by saying, "That would be too bad if they broke up. But I don't see how that's any of my business." For rumors of a person's sexual orientation, know that a lot of people are LGBT+ and there is nothing wrong with it. If people are, they are.
• Help stop rumors by standing up for people and not participating by spreading the rumor.
• Protect other people's privacy and mistakes. You wouldn't want someone spreading your personal secrets around, would you?
• Drama is unnecessary. Some people think that a life has to be filled with melodrama to be important and appreciated by others. It does not. Focusing on the things, people, and ideas that are really important is better than worrying about who is going to ask who to the dance.

Choose your friends wisely. This is very important. Be friends with people who don’t start or participate in drama and you’ll avoid the worst things that happen in middle school. Establish a small group of good friends. Every group will face a few problems, but if you suddenly feel like your life could be a Disney Channel show, you might want to consider a more sensible group of friends.

• Understand that in middle school, intentionally or, in most cases, unintentionally, you will make enemies. The only way to survive is to have a close group of friends who you can trust. You don't need too many close friends; three or four good friends, and then several casual friends is definitely enough. Be nice and friendly to everyone, but don't worry about making everyone love you.

Don’t let your friends get you in trouble. Similar to the step above, you shouldn't be friends with people who get you in serious trouble. If someone asks you to lie about something important, do something illegal, or do something to hurt someone else, then don't do it. Don’t do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or what you think is wrong. This is called peer pressure and it can lead to all sorts of problems.

• Don’t be afraid to tell an adult if someone asks or tells you to do something really bad. This doesn't make you a snitch: it makes you a good person doing the right thing. If you make a bad decision, talk to an adult you can trust. Talking to friends about it is the fastest way to start gossip. But a warning: They may want revenge if you do that, and if they are willing enough, that may be a bad can of worms to open.

Don’t do anything that will harm your body. Just like you don’t want to do something to hurt other people, you shouldn't do anything to hurt yourself. Don’t do drugs, play choking games (or anything else that someone tells you is safe/legal, but you know it's not), or any kind of self-harm like cutting yourself. If you need help, there are always people who will help you.

Be realistic about romantic relationships. In middle school young people tend to start exploring romantic relationships. While potentially having a boyfriend or girlfriend can be exciting, it can also be quite awkward to deal with middle school romances.

• Girls tend to mature much quicker than boys, which means your peers may or may not be ready to date.
• Middle school romances do not tend to last long.
• Remember that movies, TV, and other media may portray middle school dating in an unrealistic way. Your results will vary.
• Some date, some do not. Do not feel like you are the only person who does not have a significant other, or have to be in a relationship. Most people will not be.
• You will mature at your own rate. In middle school, physical maturity is in a rapid state of development. Some seventh graders may look like they could sneak into high school prom, while others look much younger.

Know that gym class will be okay. Of all classes, gym tends to be the one that causes the most anxiety. You've probably heard that you’ll have to change your clothes in front of other girls or boys or maybe you've never been very good at gym and you feel embarrassed. What you have to remember is that everyone is worried and embarrassed, so you're not alone.

• You might feel like everyone is watching you while you change, but they are really focusing on getting themselves changed. Nobody will look at you, because they are too busy thinking you are watching them. Everyone wants to just keep to themselves and change as quickly as possible!
• In most middle schools in the U.S., you will not usually be forced to shower after class.
• In most lockers, you can usually change in a bathroom stall or shower stall if you prefer.
• If you’re a girl and you feel self-conscious about being on your period while you’re having to change, just wear black or brown underwear. No one will notice at all. Middle school is all about those little changes going on your body; if you feel nervous about them, talk to your mom, another trusted adult or a mentor/counselor.
• Some schools put a lot of emphasis on team and competitive sports which may lead to non-athletic students to feel inferior. However, many schools also focus on "life activities" that are not as competitive or intense.

Learn how to solve problems. This is a really important skill, not just for getting through middle school but for getting through your whole life. If you learn good ways to solve problems, you’ll be able to handle anything that comes your way.

• For example, you should learn to ask for help when you need it. Sometimes you’ll feel silly asking for help or you don’t want to admit that you’re having problems, but you don't have to. Everyone has problems, and whoever you ask for help will totally understand. They’ve had to ask for help at some point too.
• Apologize and accept the consequences when you've done something wrong. After making a mistake, refusing to acknowledge that you did something bad (even if you didn't mean to) will just make things harder for you. You’ll feel guilty or you’ll have to deal with people being angry with you, and you don’t want that. If you spread a rumor, apologize. If you lie to a teacher, admit it.
• Communicate clearly. By doing this, you are avoiding most of the problems people face. A lot of the time, rumors get started because someone misunderstands what you say or you misunderstand what they say. You might also accidentally offend someone if you say something you don’t mean. Be careful, clear and always make sure you know what you’re saying.

Always know that it gets better. Remember: We won't try to make middle school seem like it's the worst thing that will ever happen to you, it might be really great! But, we also won't try to tell you that it's all awesome and like living in a TV show either. It can be really hard. Just believe that there will be happy times, and there will be sad times, but no matter how bad it gets, things will always get better.

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